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INGRATITUDE
An
ungrateful person is someone who denies the favors that
are done to him, who doesn’t know the value of the
kindness and helps that he experienced and adopt a repetitive
attitude against the one who does a favor and goodness to
him.
Ingratitude is this negative attitude against the goodness
and the one who does favors. Old people described this bad
habit as, kufran-i nimet” -denial of the favors-.
So this is to contradict the favors, deny it and to ignore
the favor and its owner.
The word “nankor”-
ungrateful- is of Persian origin.
A person who denies
the kindness he experienced, material and spiritual favors
he attained, doesn’t know the one who does the kindness
and give the favors, who doesn’t thank for them and
shows ingratitude is described as - Kafir-i nimet -denier
of the favor-. “Kafir” is someone who veils
the Truth that comes from Allah and conceals it, who doesn’t
recognize the Truth and denies it. Similarly an ungrateful
person does not recognize the kindness, favors and the ones
who do them, denies and ignores them.
One should appreciate
the worth of kindness and helps that are done to him and
of the blessings and sustenance. Whether they come directly
from Allah or from the people the person should be conscious
of them. People who do a kindness usually do not expect
a return. But they deserve thanks. This giving thanks both
augments the degree of the kindness, provide its continuation
and forms ties of affection between the ones who does the
kindness and the one who experiences it.
Ingratitude may be shown
both against people and against The Lord of the universe.
When a person ignores
a favor, help, support that is done by someone else this
is ingratitude. It is to behave ungratefully forgetting
the one who does the kindness.
People are dependent to each other until death. They
can not sustain their lives without other people. It is
proven by experiences that material strength can not solve
all problems. Beginning from the goodness of one’s
parents a person experiences kindness from many people like
the doctor who cures him when he becomes ill, the teacher
who educates him, and an elder who guides him. Is it possible
to count the favors that the parents of someone have done
to him. Being grateful in return of this invaluable kindness
is an exalted requirement of humaneness and feeling of help.
The Turkish proverb
of “a cup of coffee is remembered for forty years”
expresses many things. How to explain this to the people
of today who put the material things at the centre of all
relations and who do not recognize any sacred thing other
than his own benefit and because of this who stuck into
a deep egoism.
One should give thanks
to the kindness and helps that he experienced from others.
But it’s not proper to be greatly devoted to these
people, to show signs of embrassment and to become low.
If the one who does the favor expect such a thing this is
not goodness but an intention of exploitation.
To show ingratitude against the favors and helps is a bad
habit and a behavior that should be condemned. But this
act doesn’t bring the Muslim out of the boundaries
of religion.
Two
Dimensions of Ingratitude
There are two dimensions
being ungrateful against the blessings and the favors that
are given by Allah.
The first one is, according
to the Noble Quran, the ingratitude of people stems from
their infidelity. Although “infidelity”- and
“ingratitude” are seen as different there is
nearness between them. Similar to “infidelity”,
“ingratitude” implies a denial of the reality
that Allah is the Creator, the Owner of all universe, the
Creator of all means of subsistence of all living beings
and the reality that the things man has like life, soul,
heart, belongings are bestowed by Him. This attitude is
just like falling into “kufr” -infidelity-.
The Noble Quran says the the wicked people who didn’t
recognize the blessings given by Allah and who became denier
were punished: (1)
“Allah
sets forth a parable: a city enjoying security and quiet
abundantly supplied with sustenance from every place: yet
was it ungrateful for the favors of Allah: so Allah made
it taste of hunger and terror (in extremes) (closing in
on it) like a garment (from every side) because of the (evil)
which (its people) wrought.” (2)
The ingratitude character
that is described in the Verses is of the denier ones who
are in disbelief. Such people neither recognize Allah as
their Lord nor the Provider of the needs and blessings.
Another name of worship and piety is being grateful. Deniers
are people who don’t give thanks to Allah. A faith
in Allah necessitates worship to Him and being grateful
only to Him.
Deniers pray to Allah
when they are in trouble but when they feel relieved they
show ingratitude again. (3)
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(1) Chapter Sebe, 34/15-17.
(2) Chapter Nahl, 16/112.
(3) Chapter Isra, 17/67.
The second dimension
is believers’ fail in thanking for the favors and
goodness that are given to them. Fundamentally believers
obey the first rule of giving thanks by having faith. But
they should continue being a grateful born servant with
their worship, prays and giving thanks during their life.
The deficiencies of believers’ gratitude are seen
in their faults in worship and committing the forbidden
things. These faults do not lead them to infidelity but
these things are not suitable for grateful born servants.
Our Lord declared that: “And remember!
your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): "If ye
are grateful I will add more (favors) unto you; but if ye
show ingratitude truly My punishment is terrible indeed."(1)
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(1) Chapter Ibrahim, 14/7.
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