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CROSSNESS
Not
to speak one Muslim to another one, breaking his ties and
continue to anger. This problem is caused by people’s
turning away from and being cross to each other. Whereas
the brotherhood is the first thing that comes to mind when
Islam is mentioned. Because as we learned from our elders
who taught us our religion and as we understood from the
things we have read, a Muslim is a believer and a believer
is a Muslim. These are like two twins that can not be distinguished
from each other and like soul and body or like inside and
outside. Muslims are people who get on well with each other
fraternally and always help one another in all matters material
or psychological, protect and wish the well being and perfection
of each other. Then being cross, being offended to each
other, turning a way from, hatred, envy, jealousy do not
come to one’s mind. Let alone that being against to
a Muslim and doing even a slightest attempt that will harm
to him and other evil deeds. But in the disposition of human,
there are some bad habits like becoming angry and wrathful,
if such crossness takes place it shouldn’t be longer
than three days. The more virtuous of the two is the one
who greets first when they meet one another and with this
greeting anger and crossness will be removed. If they die
after an offend that lasts longer than three days, it is
declared they will deserve hell / gehenna.
Our Prophet -peace be
upon him- declared: “It is not permitted
for a Muslim being cross with his Muslim brother more than
three days.” (1)
So for any of the Muslims
it is not lawful to be angry with his Muslim brother or
sister longer than three days’ time. Unfortunately
it is seen frequently among relatives that there are people
who are cross to each other because of small things and
especially for heritage matters and remain angry and offended
to each other until death. This is a trouble that completely
stems from ignorance. It shouldn’t be forgotten that
inheritance is something that a trust on you and how it
passed on to you it will also pass to the hands of others
from you. At the very most this is being depositary for
a short time. There is no need to fight, confusion and crossness
for this trust.
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1. Kütübü Sitte -The six books of Hadith
Is it a reasonable behavior
during the division of inheritance, getting angry and offend
each other by saying ignorant words like “ You took
more and gave me less or you took the better part and gave
me the worse” But because people are of various natures
and tempers, they almost find pleasure to cause trouble
for worthless things. There are so stupid people that it’s
no use of admonition, sermon and even beating and imprisonment
for them. Because when someone’s heart is darkened
and becomes hard, he turns to be a wretch person who is
deprived of kindness and compassion, feeling of help and
who doesn’t know anything other than his own uses
but admires his own mind. It is to talk oneself hoarse whatever
you say to these people. These poor people who are deprived
of the favor of spiritual knowledge, goes a way from this
world without knowing the worth and value of Islam, that
is the greatest disaster for them.
When two Muslims who
are cross to each other meet in the first three days or
later, one greets the other and if the other one doesn’t
answer by saying “aleykümüsselam”-
peace be upon you- the sin will be on him, but the angels
reply this greeting. Angels answer your greeting by saying
“Aleykümüsselam”. Satan replies the
one who doesn’t acknowledge the salute. If the people
who are angry to each other die without reconciliation,
it is declared that they can not go to paradise and according
to a narrative it is said even if they go to paradise they
can not see each other there. It’s all right if they
say the crossness is for three days and they reconcile again.
But if they don’t Allah turns a way from them, this
means he doesn’t bestow His compassion.
Again it is declared
that, if one remains cross to another Muslim this is like
killing him. So he deserves a punishment given to a murder.
On every Monday and Thursday the considering of all born
servants are passed from the angels in the earth to the
ones in skies. In another narrative it is said on every
Monday and Thursday the gates of the Paradise are open and
other than the people who attribute partner to Allah are
forgiven. Only the ones who are angry to each other left.
Mercy of them is delayed until they reconcile. In Islam
there is no crossness more than three days. If they continue
their anger they go out of Islam until they make peace one
another. These are so painful things. Muslims should protect
themselves from these kinds of disasters.
The fifteenth day of
Shaban (eighth month of the Muslim year) is a sacred night.
( Berat Kandil / feast ). At that night Allah considers
his born servants and forgives the ones who repent and ask
for forgiveness other than polytheists, but people who are
cross and angry to each other and who continues enmity and
hostility, who abandon to perform prayer-worship/Namaz with
the community and do pernicious innovation are left without
Mercy. There are also five people who are not forgiven at
that night but there is no need to mention them here.
There are three types
of people whose ritual worship-namaz are not presented to
Allah. So their worship is not worth to be accepted. One
of them is the person who becomes imam to a community which
does not want him. Second one is the woman who makes her
husband angry and leaves his bed. The third one is the people
who are cross and angry to each other, who hate and turn
a way from one another. As it seen crossness is such an
evil behavior. Only there is a permission for not to talk
to people who rebel to Allah (c.c) and His Apostle and to
people who possibly may give harm to Islam and to Muslims,
this is known as “ bugz-u fillah” -to have rancor
for the sake of Allah, to be angry and cross just for His
sake.
Our Prophet’s
crossness to his purified wives, our Mothers for a month
and anger of Hadrat Omar to his son are based on such causes.
As an instance of this, Muslims are especially warned for
not to talk to three people who didn’t join to military
expedition of Tebuk without any excuse. One of them was
Hadrat Ka’b Ibni Malik that for fifty days nobody
talked to them the details of this event are written in
the books of Hadith. Even in the last ten days it was stated
that these people should have been apart from their wives.
They separated from their wives and were left quite alone.
One of them was so old that he was allowed to be with his
wife. This was a punishment for their acting slowly while
there is no excuse and not to join the expedition.
Especially among relatives,
although they have faults you should leave them to Lord.
Try to get on well with everybody and relatives. If we say
that this person has a fault, that person has a defect then
nobody has relations with one another. When there is no
possibility of happening of a great harm it’s sufficient
to greet them and being a bit reserved. It is said about
people from whom harm is expected “It’s better
not to see them than having relations “. (1)
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(1) Sufi Ethics ( M.Z.Kotku )
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