CROSSNESS

 Not to speak one Muslim to another one, breaking his ties and continue to anger. This problem is caused by people’s turning away from and being cross to each other. Whereas the brotherhood is the first thing that comes to mind when Islam is mentioned. Because as we learned from our elders who taught us our religion and as we understood from the things we have read, a Muslim is a believer and a believer is a Muslim. These are like two twins that can not be distinguished from each other and like soul and body or like inside and outside. Muslims are people who get on well with each other fraternally and always help one another in all matters material or psychological, protect and wish the well being and perfection of each other. Then being cross, being offended to each other, turning a way from, hatred, envy, jealousy do not come to one’s mind. Let alone that being against to a Muslim and doing even a slightest attempt that will harm to him and other evil deeds. But in the disposition of human, there are some bad habits like becoming angry and wrathful, if such crossness takes place it shouldn’t be longer than three days. The more virtuous of the two is the one who greets first when they meet one another and with this greeting anger and crossness will be removed. If they die after an offend that lasts longer than three days, it is declared they will deserve hell / gehenna.

 Our Prophet -peace be upon him- declared: “It is not permitted for a Muslim being cross with his Muslim brother more than three days.” (1)

 So for any of the Muslims it is not lawful to be angry with his Muslim brother or sister longer than three days’ time. Unfortunately it is seen frequently among relatives that there are people who are cross to each other because of small things and especially for heritage matters and remain angry and offended to each other until death. This is a trouble that completely stems from ignorance. It shouldn’t be forgotten that inheritance is something that a trust on you and how it passed on to you it will also pass to the hands of others from you. At the very most this is being depositary for a short time. There is no need to fight, confusion and crossness for this trust.
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1. Kütübü Sitte -The six books of Hadith

 Is it a reasonable behavior during the division of inheritance, getting angry and offend each other by saying ignorant words like “ You took more and gave me less or you took the better part and gave me the worse” But because people are of various natures and tempers, they almost find pleasure to cause trouble for worthless things. There are so stupid people that it’s no use of admonition, sermon and even beating and imprisonment for them. Because when someone’s heart is darkened and becomes hard, he turns to be a wretch person who is deprived of kindness and compassion, feeling of help and who doesn’t know anything other than his own uses but admires his own mind. It is to talk oneself hoarse whatever you say to these people. These poor people who are deprived of the favor of spiritual knowledge, goes a way from this world without knowing the worth and value of Islam, that is the greatest disaster for them.

 When two Muslims who are cross to each other meet in the first three days or later, one greets the other and if the other one doesn’t answer by saying “aleykümüsselam”- peace be upon you- the sin will be on him, but the angels reply this greeting. Angels answer your greeting by saying “Aleykümüsselam”. Satan replies the one who doesn’t acknowledge the salute. If the people who are angry to each other die without reconciliation, it is declared that they can not go to paradise and according to a narrative it is said even if they go to paradise they can not see each other there. It’s all right if they say the crossness is for three days and they reconcile again. But if they don’t Allah turns a way from them, this means he doesn’t bestow His compassion.

 Again it is declared that, if one remains cross to another Muslim this is like killing him. So he deserves a punishment given to a murder. On every Monday and Thursday the considering of all born servants are passed from the angels in the earth to the ones in skies. In another narrative it is said on every Monday and Thursday the gates of the Paradise are open and other than the people who attribute partner to Allah are forgiven. Only the ones who are angry to each other left. Mercy of them is delayed until they reconcile. In Islam there is no crossness more than three days. If they continue their anger they go out of Islam until they make peace one another. These are so painful things. Muslims should protect themselves from these kinds of disasters.

 The fifteenth day of Shaban (eighth month of the Muslim year) is a sacred night. ( Berat Kandil / feast ). At that night Allah considers his born servants and forgives the ones who repent and ask for forgiveness other than polytheists, but people who are cross and angry to each other and who continues enmity and hostility, who abandon to perform prayer-worship/Namaz with the community and do pernicious innovation are left without Mercy. There are also five people who are not forgiven at that night but there is no need to mention them here.

 There are three types of people whose ritual worship-namaz are not presented to Allah. So their worship is not worth to be accepted. One of them is the person who becomes imam to a community which does not want him. Second one is the woman who makes her husband angry and leaves his bed. The third one is the people who are cross and angry to each other, who hate and turn a way from one another. As it seen crossness is such an evil behavior. Only there is a permission for not to talk to people who rebel to Allah (c.c) and His Apostle and to people who possibly may give harm to Islam and to Muslims, this is known as “ bugz-u fillah” -to have rancor for the sake of Allah, to be angry and cross just for His sake.

 Our Prophet’s crossness to his purified wives, our Mothers for a month and anger of Hadrat Omar to his son are based on such causes. As an instance of this, Muslims are especially warned for not to talk to three people who didn’t join to military expedition of Tebuk without any excuse. One of them was Hadrat Ka’b Ibni Malik that for fifty days nobody talked to them the details of this event are written in the books of Hadith. Even in the last ten days it was stated that these people should have been apart from their wives. They separated from their wives and were left quite alone. One of them was so old that he was allowed to be with his wife. This was a punishment for their acting slowly while there is no excuse and not to join the expedition.

 Especially among relatives, although they have faults you should leave them to Lord. Try to get on well with everybody and relatives. If we say that this person has a fault, that person has a defect then nobody has relations with one another. When there is no possibility of happening of a great harm it’s sufficient to greet them and being a bit reserved. It is said about people from whom harm is expected “It’s better not to see them than having relations “. (1)
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(1) Sufi Ethics ( M.Z.Kotku )